Monday was a blog fail that makes me cringe every time I think of it so I am deleting it and posting a new one. I apologize to any who read it. I don’t know what I was thinking while writing it, besides “Must post. Must. Post. Blog. TODAY!” Yeah. I am sorry about that. Live and learn right?
So my spring break has been full of ups and downs and I still have a few more days to go. In some ways, I am dying to get back up the mountain, and in others, I can wait. Because I’m dual like that. Seriously though, it’s been nice to get away from classes for a few days, but being home is always a stinging reminder that I am so ready to be running my own place, living under my own roof. I love my folks, but like most mother-daughter relationships, we get along better if we’re not under the same roof. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. And besides that, I am my own spit in the face of the women’s movement. As much as I want a career, I am also getting excited about having my own place and how I’ll organize everything and arrange all the furniture and train my fiancé when we’re living under the same roof and….I’m going to stop there. But I will admit to this. The washcloths that were bought for me when I went to college? I proudly admit to still having them all and I am so weird that I always fold and arrange them by their color. They came in a pack so there’s two of each and I always put like with like. Weird stuff like that is what my fiancé has to look forward to after we get married. I am also particular about how I hang my shirts up. It’s just a habit I developed when I was younger of right side out, and the tag faces the left side of the closet. Pity him!
Meanwhile, tomorrow I get to go sit up at the local mechanic dude’s and wait for my car to be inspected and serviced. I am taking a book and parking my butt in the shade somewhere while they do their thing. Sometimes it pays to be a bookworm, especially if you’re naturally shy and it’s hard to strike up a conversation with strangers. Just saying. But this has to be done now, because the tags run out next month and I probably won’t be home again until after exams. We’d still have time, but it’d be pushing it and my dad likes to get things done ahead of time and save himself the hassle. I also have to go cash my check from the writing center and take my W-2 form up to the local accountant that everybody goes to. Lovely tax crap. But hey, our EFC dropped again this year! Too bad it’s not really going to help.
Before I let you get back to your busy Thursday, I have one thing I want to mention. While I was hanging out with my grandpa watching TV one day this week, one of those celebrity gossip shows had a story on a growing trend on YouTube. This trend is where young girls post videos asking people if they are pretty or ugly. According to the one telling about it, some of the comments were positive and a lot more were downright nasty. Which, I could’ve told them that. Go to any YouTube video with more than fifteen views and chances are somebody’s arguing with someone about a comment posted so far back you don’t even want to bother looking for it. People are nasty on YouTube, but that’s not the point. What I am wondering is what the hell our society is coming to? We base so much on our looks and others validating our own opinion of our looks and that is such a silly thing to do. What matters is how we feel about ourselves.
I actually wrote in my Women’s Studies mid-term that the day a woman can look at herself naked in the mirror and make herself believe that she is beautiful in spite of her flaws is the day she is truly empowered. I firmly believe that because it happened to me. I have a belly that I did not have when I was sixteen. My butt is a lot bigger than it was. I’ve gone up a bra size in the past four years. I have a box full of clothes sitting in my room right now that I can no longer wear. My first instinct is to dwell on that, like I think a lot of women do, and to look at my belly and hate my body. But then I remember that I still have some shirts that I look fantastic in, a pair of jeans or two that make my butt look great. Even with a little extra baggage, I am still womanly, I am still beautiful, and most importantly, I am still me. I don’t let that extra weight get me down. You might say I am in denial, I just say that I am not letting my weight get me down any more than it has to when going up a steep hill.
Don’t get me wrong, I hope to lose the weight one day, and I try to watch what I eat these days. But until I fit back into those size six jeans, I refuse to be unhappy with myself. I just wish that more women, and especially young girls, could feel this way too.
And that’s my rant for the week. Next Monday I’ll be back with something guaranteed to keep you interested. If not, well, you aren’t paying me anyway so no harm no foul. ;) Finish your week with grace friends.