I hate this. As a writer, it seems that I never do rough drafts. I only do world drafts. I write my characters set in a world that is done a certain way and for a while, it’s great, it works, and I love it. Then I start to become disenchanted. Something about the world doesn’t vibe and it makes me want to tear my hair out. Just when I think I have the world the way it is supposed to be, this happens and it changes everything.
Bear knows how bad I am to restart and rework. He’s been through too many world drafts with me and groans every time I even mention the possibility. To fully understand how far back this goes, let’s go back to the beginning, shall we?
My primary two characters, Elana and Markus, go way back with me. They were born when I was just in fifth grade, only back then they were Piper and Ray, and there was not a magical thing about them. I wrote out their story over the course of fifth and sixth grade, doing maybe one or two more versions before I got to high school. That’s when the fun really started.
Other characters began introducing themselves. Cameron. Jess. Colin. Ryan. Laura. Zombie. Arlan. In tenth grade, I began outlining an entire series revolving around them and their adventures. I had maybe three complete stories written out in composition books, complete with their own soundtracks. From there, it just disintegrated. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve changed up the story on these people. In college, Regan and Cadeyrn came to me as an entirely separate world, when I was trying to find something to do to get away from these characters that never seemed to fit in one world for long. I wrote maybe three or four different versions of their story, only completing one or two. Then, in the middle of 2013, they were incorporated into the same world as my other characters, on an entirely new path from which my upcoming novella, Shadows Rising (formerly Shadows Past), comes from.
And now I am battling the first novel which the novella serves as a prequel for. I am hating every bit of it.
The funny thing is, their histories rarely change. Just some of the rules regarding their powers and current events. The same couples are still going to get together, with the same messed up histories as they’ve always had. I just can’t find a way to write them, in a world that I can stomach for more than six months at a time.
I reassure myself with reminders that most authors don’t get their methods figured out until they’re in their thirties with a lot of experience under their belts. It doesn’t make me feel much better when I have to start over because the old version was on the verge of making me vomit.
Shadows Rising will stay largely the same, but depending on how I decide to move forward, how it ends may change a bit. I’ve got the pieces, I’ve got the rules, I just can’t figure out how to arrange it so it suits me best. Unfortunately, since I plan to publish at the end of the month, I have to make a decision and fast.
|I assure you, this is but a small, small fraction of the comp books I have. Not to mention what is on my computer.|