Friday, March 1, 2013

Dream a Little Dream

            My last blog post was a short little piece I like to call, writer’s block. I wrote it while on babysitting duty for my cousin’s little boy who was sick. I got roped into that because I have no job, which is also part of how I’ve been writing so much here lately. Well, after I posted that blog, I stared at the cursor for a little longer and sometime between the time before his mom got home and ten o’clock that night, I had written 5,000 words. I am not sure about the final draft, but the second draft of my senior seminar paper was only about three hundred words more than that, and that lovely thing took me a few months of work. I felt extremely accomplished, especially given that my daily average is probably in the 1,000 to 2,000 range. And I am not sure that 5,000 is even enough.
            I have a daily journal where I record my word count for that day and for the past few weeks, I’ve been pretty steady, finding a rhythm and purpose for myself until I find a paying job. Along the way, I’m constantly being inspired by writers tweeting about their progress and deadlines. Two of them have been putting in long hours to meet their deadline and even though they’re obviously tired, they keep going, keep pushing the story. That is the life I want. A life of words and that wonderful writer’s high that occurs when a story comes together so beautifully or when you stop and realize just how much you’ve written in a short amount of time. There’s no other feeling like it for me. It’s what I want my life to be.
            5,000 should be my daily average, I think, if I want to make it as a writer. My biggest problem though is getting to a point at which I have no idea what’s coming next. Maybe that’s why a lot of writers do outlines before hand. I’ve got a lot going on and I think I’m beginning to see how this book is going to end, but it’s just connecting the dots and making these explosions of events go off in a timely manner. So instead of just a big mess, I have a nice little design of fires that from the sky, you can see actually make something with purpose. Kind of like at the end of The Punisher, the one with Tom Jane.
            I know I’ve got a few good people behind me who believe in me, who have faith that I’ll get published. For the first time in my life, I’m beginning to believe it myself. This story is a long way from being ready to face the publishers, but it’s moving at a pace that I’ve never experienced before. I think once I finish it and tweak it, making it the story I know it can be in my heart, there will be at least one person out there who will love it. And I’ll set out to find them with my battle armor on and resolve hardened. It’ll be rejected many times I’m sure, and I plan to collect those rejections like trophies of war, and I will meet those who will hate it with nothing more than a smile and a polite response as I continue to move on.
            It’s all about your state of mind. Your attitude affects the world around you. And right now, my attitude can be best summed up by lyrics from In This Moment: “C’mon, c’mon, let me hear your WAR CRY!”

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