Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Etiquette is not a bitch, but oh, I am

            Etiquette. Etiquette demands this. Etiquette demands that. I have never been good with demands. I have never been good with etiquette. High school graduation was fun. College graduation wasn’t really an issue. The next thing draped heavily in etiquette is wedding and I am not looking forward to dealing with that. More specifically, who am I required to invite just because we share blood. Even more specifically, who do I not want to invite because I rarely see them but I am being told I have to invite because we are “family.”
            Ever since I was old enough to really consider what family means to me, I have had specifics in mind. What it means to be family and who in my life really fits that bill. Similar to who is a true friend, the list is very short. Probably because I’m so picky about that, I’m even more picky about who I want to share the special moments of my life with. Special moments include when I’m bound to the man I love by law and by a higher power. Inviting people who really mean nothing to me feels like adding a certain layer of fake that I do not want present when I walk down the aisle in the dress I picked out with a circlet on my head.
            Hey, if I get to be a princess on my wedding day, I don’t want any lip when I choose faery princess. No, scratch that. A faery queen!
            With the possibility of the date being less than six months away, the guest list is becoming a pressing issue. Along with where we’re going to do it, but that’s another subject altogether. More than anything else, the guest list is what is going to bother me the most. And people keep reminding me that the more people you invite, the more gifts you will receive. That seems a very bad reason to invite someone to your special day. It’s a circus of bullshit that ever since I was old enough to understand, I wanted no part of.
            I want people at my wedding who really want to be there. I want people who bring gifts to do so because they love Bear and I and want to help us out with the poor newlyweds need pots to cook in thing. I don’t want obligation and dread to accompany them to my wedding. That seems part of the southern belle, proper society circus bullshit. I don’t care about what is proper. I care about what is right.
            The worst part about this entire subject is that even if someone doesn’t want to go and will dread the day and buying a gift if they’re invited, they are still insulted if they don’t get an invite. So in reality, you can’t win with people.

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