I finally turned twenty-one this past weekend. I can now order drinks in restaurants if I feel moved, but unless it is a special occasion, I don’t see myself doing it that often. Eating out is expensive enough, especially when you’re in college earning a grand total of a hundred odd bucks a month. Even so, I treated myself and my fiancé to Chili’s for my birthday. Beforehand, we strolled around the mall and our last stop was the bookstore (because you save the best for last and we spend the most time in there anyway). We came across a book my fiancé has been wanting, in hardback and it was bargain priced for six bucks. I wasn’t planning on it, but I ended up buying it when he wasn’t looking. He does little things for me, so I thought I would return the favor for once. A week ago he surprised me with a little mountain lion from our campus bookstore, my early birthday present who we named Kenzie, after the chick from Lost Girl.
The passing of my birthday means that we are just that closer to the end of the semester and I am having mixed feelings at this point. I am ready to be done with college, but at the same time, I don’t want to leave. More to the point, I don’t want to go home. Sometimes I am not even sure where home is. Is it with my parents? In the dorm room that is more mine than anywhere else I have ever laid my head at night? Or is it with my fiancé? This question has bothered me for a year or so now, and I still don’t have an answer. Even though I supposedly have a plan, I have no idea where I will be in a year, and that is scary. I also keep looking at my ring and wondering when that day will ever come.
I’m feeling way too introspective for a chick who just celebrated her twenty-first birthday with friends, food, and a pink margarita, but that is part of what makes me a writer. It’s not always fun, but it is what it is.
On that note, as of this week, I am slowing down this blog. I am not going to stop posting, but they will be fewer and farther in-between. There are a few reasons for this. One is that we are rapidly approaching exams so my time for fun writing will be limited. Another is that at this point, I am not feeling like I have enough support to keep this blog going on a weekly basis. Thirdly is that because I feel like I do not have that support, I’m stepping back to figure out a new angle for this blog, a new focus that might get more people to read it on a regularly basis.
I write because I can’t not write, and that will never change. However, for something like this, I can’t keep feeling as if I am talking to myself most of the time. So, I suppose I’ll see any readers I do have on the flipside. Watch my Facebook/Twitter for updates about the blog.