Monday, August 6, 2012

Sucker for Punishment

            A question I’ve asked myself, and apparently others have as well, is whether or not friendships like you see in Sex and the City and the Ya-Ya Sisterhood are real. Someone on my Facebook friends list asked a while back if there was any such thing as real friends anymore. Once we get past grade school and the hormones start to kick in, that is very much a valid question, especially if you’re female.
            Most of the guys I know, and I hang out with quite a few of them on a regular basis, seem to have the opinion that women just cannot get along for extended periods of time. Bear claims we get catty with each other, that it is an alpha dog, this is my territory so Imma piss all over you kind of thing. Metaphorically speaking of course! Even so, if you can stop the automatic denial that comes after that assertion, can you really say that there is not some truth in that statement? Or am I just the odd ball?
            It is hard for me to click with people. There are a handful of people in  my life that I feel like I can be one hundred percent myself with. Less than half of that handful falls into the category of female. And that small number of women? Our friendships have come into question more than my guy friendships ever have, for one reason or another. Oh, and something else I’ve noticed, the women that I click with the best, that I get along with the best, often turn out to be the ones I have to watch out for. They’re either just a little bit on the psycho side or everything is suddenly turning into a pissing contest, thus the alpha dog scenario.
            A little digging on my friendly neighborhood Wikipedia site shows that one of my male friends knew what he was talking about. Sex and the City was written by a woman, but the television show was created by a man, a man who turned out to be gay. Of course, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood was written by a woman as well, but that was focused more on the mother-daughter relationship, which I think is realistic. Of all the relationships we have with other women, that is the one that we can never get away from.
We come from our mothers, we are our mothers, even if they represent everything we do not want to be. Even if we fight all the time, most of us still come back to our mothers at the end of the day. If you’ve seen the new movie Brave, you know what I’m talking about. I went to see that movie twice and cried both times. My mom went with me the second time and even though I’m not quite sure she took the movie the same way I did, it still made me think of our relationship. Especially that scene where Merida and her mother are each trying to work out what they really want to say to each other, Merida practicing on her horse and her mother talking to her father, who does a fabulous impression of Merida by the way. Something I relate to and I’m sure everyone else has at some point, is the phrase “Just listen!” One of the most important things for any relationship is often the hardest thing to do.
            Aside from our mothers, if female friendships are such a pain in the behind, why do we keep trying to make them work? Without thinking too much, I have an answer for that one. We keep trying because we want that connection with someone we can relate to, someone who isn’t our significant other because let’s face it, every now and again we need to just rant about our special someone too. Besides that, there are things that men just don’t get. And women talking about it start pointing fingers and jumping up and down saying “I know exactly what you mean!” in a very excited voice. That is one of the coolest feelings in the world, to know that you’re not alone, that someone else feels that way too. Someone female who just gets it! Men, bless their hearts, don’t always get it. Although they do try. And if you let them, they’ll get comfortable enough around you to start saying stuff you wish you never had to hear. Guys are crude. I can handle crude, but in a room full of guys, they sometimes take it to the next level, a level I do not wish to go. Yet another reason to have a group of girlfriends to escape to every once in a while.
            I guess I’m a sucker for punishment. It’s not Carrie and her friends. It’s not Vivien and the pact made under the moonlight as kids, but it’s what we’ve got. And until men have to deal with that time of the month and that uncomfortable underwire bra, it’s the best we’ve got. So ladies, here’s to more cat fights and late night talks and giggle fits. Of course the giggle fits. Giggle fits are the best. They almost make it worth it when I just want to gouge your eyes out. Kiss kiss. Until next week.

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