I’ve always been entranced by the idea of tarot cards and I have owned my own deck for a couple of years now, I guess it would be. I do not take their readings literally, I know that they are a guiding tool, something for us to interpret. I also think that they are a way for the gods to speak directly to us, but just like with a radio transmission, there can be interference. That can come from an outside force or our own energy, taking the message and twisting it into something a little off from what we were originally going to get.
I pray on a regular basis. I talk to Her on a daily basis, but I usually only do readings when I am deeply troubled by something. This semester, I have done two readings to date. One was at the beginning of September, when I was dreaming about Pawpaw. The dreams weren’t that often of an occurrence, but at least one of them was slightly disturbing so I went to the tarot for answers. I don’t know if the cards I pulled really gave me an answer, but asking the question put me at ease a little bit. I didn’t have another dream for a while at any rate and no more of the disturbing variety.
This latest reading was brought on by post-graduation plans. I am at the point where I do not know what to do so I pulled out my deck, wondering if I could get any guidance from it. I did a past, present, future spread and the first two, I think, were fairly accurate. The card I drew for future, though, told me little. The gods like to be vague and you never do get a straight answer, but I had hoped.
I do believe some things are meant to be, but at the same time, our futures are constantly shifting and changing with every step we take, every choice we make. Nothing is set in stone. Maybe it’s even possible to throw destiny off track. We say “meant to be” and it’s like that automatically guarantees it. Maybe it doesn’t. It’s like when us college students say “Well, I meant to write that paper last night…” You get my point? We’re supposed to go down this track, but our own choices alter it a little and we end up taking the longer way and the outcome is not as polished as it could be, as it should be actually.
Everything happens for a reason, but shit still happens sometimes for no reason. We can’t take all of these sayings literally all the time, because the world doesn’t always operate on a literal level and sometimes there are just no answers. The scariest thing is putting your foot on the railroad track to cross, but being unable to see if there’s a train coming or not. Then I suppose it comes down to trusting your instincts and your ability to run if you hear the whistle in the distance. I hope that my instincts are sharp enough to keep my head above water, and my feet fast enough to get me out if trouble starts to rumble after me. I’ve said it before. There are three things I cannot doubt in this world and they are my writing, my Bear, and my faith. All three are what get me through to the new sunrise and I have to keep trusting that.