As of the time of posting, it has been exactly ten months since I graduated from college with a BA in English. And I’m finally starting in a job. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with my degree, but it’s a job and it will pay well. It’s also on third shift, which means a bumpy ride in snoozeville for a while, until I figure out a rhythm again. Oh well.
The hours are expected to be crazy and the only thing that makes me nervous about that is the main thing that got me through the past year without dissolving in a puddle of “I feel so useless.” My writing.
This is by no means exact. It doesn’t include the other novellas I started but let drift off and it doesn’t include the word count for my blog this year, which I did record for the first couple of months. It’s basically the two novels that I started that eventually got tossed aside, the one I finished, and the novella I’m working on now. The total word count, as best I can tell, for this year for me is 242,785 words. Basically, the equivalent of two and a half novels. Not bad in ten months time, even if half of that will never see the light of day.
I was telling Bear last week that it’s been a rough year. It’s been one emotional drama after another and I am so ready for things to settle down and to fall into a rhythm that means less stress and more happiness and satisfaction. A job, no matter what it is, is a start towards that. My writing has been steady progress towards that, and it’s progress I am not willing to give up.
Last week, when I found out this job was a go, I was at a loss. It’s a little unsettling to think that the degree we’re all trained to want and strive for is just a pretty, expensive piece of paper, that it really will not get you ahead of others who do not have it. Not to mention, my degree is very general. My mom and I were talking about it and she asked me, point blank, what I wanted to do for a career. Unable to speak, I just pointed at my laptop, and pulled out the printed version of the first half a novel that I wrote this year, and ultimately abandoned.
Here’s the thing. After several interviews and so many rejections that leave me at a loss, I truly believe that I could do any job thrown my way. I believe I could learn it and get it done. But my ultimate dream, my ultimate career goal, is to be a full time writer. Not for a newspaper or magazine, but novels. The determination I feel right now to maintain progress on my work even as I go into a 68 hour week job just tells me that this is truly what I want to do with my life. As if the last ten months hadn’t already done that.
I made note on my website, but I’ll say it here too. I plan on posting here at least once a week, and I am going to keep moving forward with the novella. I may not be finished by November, but I will be making progress. Moral support would be welcome.
Much love to any readers who follow the Kelswitch. See you in a week.